


Broken Compass

by heartjoongs (krucxa)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Crushes, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, honestly this is just. Soft., hongjoong has big uwu energy and u can't convince me otherwise, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 13:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krucxa/pseuds/heartjoongs
Summary: Liminal space - the time betweenwhat wasandwhat's next. The way from one certain point to another;a place where reality is a bit altered.That's exactly where he is - at a liminal space, between a completely platonic friendship and a realization of the other feelings, he wasn't aware of up until now.





	Broken Compass

**Author's Note:**

> djshjssj i know i should be writing the 3rd part of my hala hala au but like. there's a certain point in that fic that i was very very irritated with so i wrote this instead??  
> this was actually in my wips for a...... Really Long Time so i'm honestly rlly glad to finally post it lmao
> 
> the title is from 3racha's song because......  
>  1) this was actually supposed to be a jilix fic lmaoooo  
>  2) i was listening to it on repeat while writing this dkjsksjs
> 
> anyway i hope u'll enjoy this lil drabble!!

i.

Liminal space - the time between _what was_ and _what's next_. The way from one certain point to another; _a place where reality is a bit altered_.

It could be a playground at midnight, could be an empty parking lot, even one's kitchen at four in the morning. There's a sense of uneasiness that accompanies it, a dream-like state which can only be described as simply, unreal.

Seonghwa likes it, he thinks.

His gaze flutters around the room, bouncing off the thin, yellow walls (the paint looks almost grey by now, parts of it having chipped off and fallen to the ground), the empty tables (standing in a row that's just the slightest bit uneven - not so much to drive him mad but enough to leave him irritated) and finally stopping on the lone clock in the corner of the café, its quiet ticking filling the entire shop - anxious, nagging, reminding of the time running by.

_01:27_ , it reads; an unusual hour, to be in a coffee shop.

Yet still, here he is.

His grip on the cup in front of him tightens, his attention back to the drink he's, supposedly, here for.

(It's probably lukewarm by now, anyway.)

Slowly tipping it to the side, he watches as it moves, trying and failing to recall the exact moment the barista slipped away - probably to the back room, maybe even in hopes of a quick nap - Seonghwa wouldn't be surprised. It's not like anyone comes in at this hour, besides him, that is. And he's already gotten his order, so really, he can only relate to the deep circles under the barista's eyes that he noticed a few minutes after coming in.

Yeah, insomnia's a bitch, but this time, he has another thing keeping him up at night.

Or rather, not a _thing_ , but a _person_ \- the one that showed him the exact coffee shop in the first place.

(Was it his subconsciousness that made him come here, in desperate search for the other?

He'd rather not think about it.)

His chest fills with warmth as he recalls the younger's appearance. Closing his eyes, he thinks of thick, brown hair styled into the stupid (but strangely endearing) mullet, the numerous, carefully picked piercings decorating his ears, and the soft-looking, heart-shaped lips that pulled into a lazy smile whenever they talked.

It feels so real; almost as if the boy was standing in front of him.

For some reason, Seonghwa wishes he was.

He doesn't really understand it. The way his attention snaps to random people when he hears Hongjoong's name fall from their lips; the way his heart flutters when the boy smiles a little wider after noticing him; the way his cheeks tingle when the younger wraps him in a hug.

But the one thing he knows is that, he wouldn't take anything over this - whatever it is, between them.

Because that's exactly where he is - at a _liminal space_ , between a completely platonic friendship and a realization of the _other_ feelings, he wasn't aware of up until now.

ii.

[07:23 am] joong: **hey**  
[07:23 am] joong: **seonghwa!!!!!**  
[07:24 am] joong: **where are u??**

His eyelids flutter open and he blinks down, a little blearily, at his own lap, and the school bag thrown over it carelessly. Still drowsy from the little sleep he just resurfaced from, it takes him a few seconds to register the way his phone keeps buzzing in the pocket of his jacket. When he finally notices, though, he rushes to pull it out, squinting at the too-bright screen.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath when he reads the messages, quickly shooting an apologetic glance at the old lady occupying the bus seat next to him.

 **oh god i'm so sorry** [07:27 am]  
**i was pulling an all nighter** [07:27 am]  
**to finish an essay but uhhh** [07:28 am]  
**i might've...... crashed?** [07:28 am]  
**and overslept bc of that,,,,** [07:28 am]  
**ig i forgot to tell u?? and. i'm sorry :cc** [07:29 am]

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and praying to whatever entity hears him so that Hongjoong has mercy on his questionable life decisions.

[07:31 am] joong: **,,,,,god ur mind**  
[07:31 am] joong: **it's okay btw**  
[07:32 am] joong: **but seriously where are you**  
[07:33 am] joong: **you're lucky our first period got cancelled @ the last minute**

He doesn't think much about the way his eyes crinkle when he stares at the words, ignores the way his cheeks bloom the color of roses, all of that in favour of holding back the smile that pulls at his mouth. 

He breathes in deeply, finally giving in; he doesn't care if people look at him weirdly for the, almost embarrassingly sweet, grin on his lips. 

**don't worry** [07:35 am]  
**i'm gonna be there in like.** [07:36 am]  
**7 minutes?? i think** [07:36 am]  
**can u please save a seat for me though** [07:36 am] 

[07:37 am] joong: **no promises.**

(There was, indeed, a saved seat near the back of the room, when Seonghwa finally got there - right next to Hongjoong's desk, the said boy fast asleep with his head buried in his arms on top of the table, hidden from the teacher's view.

And if there was also a cup of coffee waiting for Seonghwa, warming up his hands when he reaches out for it and filling his lungs with a light, caramel scent - he didn't comment on it.

One thing was certain, though. he might've smiled a lot more that lesson than he usually would.)

iii.

His legs are dangling off the edge, his shoulders stiff as he leans back - looking up, up into the night, his bare neck exposed to the cold, but he pays it no mind.

Instead, he focuses on the few stars visible on the polluted sky, hiding every now and then behind the clouds.

He takes a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before watching it disappear in a white puff before him.

There's something soothing in the night, in the empty parking lot - it calms down his anxiety, just lets him breathe for a while.

Seonghwa's always been a light sleeper. Simple things like the creaking of a wooden floor as a person passes by or a door opening somewhere deeper in the hallway were usually enough for his eyes to crack open and for him to stare up at the blank ceiling, wondering what woke him up again.

That, paired with having trouble falling asleep in the first place, is what makes him leave the safety of his bedroom at the weirdest hours of the night.

He likes it, though. He likes how simple everything seems when the streets are empty and the streetlamps barely illuminate the path ahead.

Like right now, when he's sitting in the corner of the local grocery's store parking lot, and he tips his head to the side, letting his eyes fall closed.

"I knew I'd find you wandering around."

Seonghwa doesn't startle at the words ㅡ not because he's expected them or anything like that, he's just too tired for it. He does hum noncommittally, though, before a pair of hands sneak around his back, cold fingers sprawled at the front of his neck, and he lifts his head up to meet Hongjoong's curious eyes.

The younger's smiling down at him softly, cheeks flushed from the breeze and eyes sparkling, just like the sky above, and the sight punches the air out of Seonghwa's lungs. The boy's fringe almost tickles his skin from the close proximity, and Hongjoong's lips curl upwards even more as he hooks one of his fingers under the older's jaw, unknowingly making Seonghwa's breath hitch.

"You shouldn't stay up again," he scolds, his voice gentle despite his words, and Seonghwa can only nods silently. He wants to look away, to avoid Hongjoong's prying gaze, but it's so hard to do when the boy's thumb rubs the back of his neck lightly, and Seonghwa almost leans back into his touch.

But then, Hongjoong takes a step back, before sliding in front of the older and reaches his hand out with an anticipating grin, "come on."

Seonghwa eyes his palm for a second, before hesitantly wrapping his fingers around the boy's wrist. A satisfied hum leaves Hongjoong's lips as he pulls Seonghwa up, before his hand dips a little lower, fingers interlocking before Seonghwa even has the time to protest.

(It's not like he would do so in the first place, though.

He likes the feeling of Hongjoong's hand in his. He likes how soft the tips of his fingers feel against his skin, how contrastingly rough the boy's knuckles appear. He likes the size difference, the boy's seemingly smaller hand in comparison to his own, long fingers. He likes everything about it.)

The younger spares him a glance before tugging at his arm. Wordlessly, he steps ahead, and Seonghwa follows, because it's not like he has any other choice.

"Where are we going?" he asks after a few seconds, looking around as they leave the parking lot, and Hongjoong turns to shoot him a smile.

"My place. You know I live pretty close to where we are right now," the younger replies, and it's only then that something clicks inside Seonghwa's mind.

_Oh_ , he's done it again. He went on a midnight walk just to end up somewhere that involuntarily reminds him of Hongjoong.

First, it was the café. Now it's the grocery store near the boy's house.

Up to this point, he's never really thought of himself as exactly _whipped_ , but now? Now, he might just think again.

It doesn't take much time for them to get to Hongjoong's house. Really, it's only a five minute walk, and before Seonghwa knows it, he's already sliding off his shoes and laying them next to Hongjoong's own on the floor, before they tiptoe into the younger's room, careful not to wake up anyone on their way there.

They've done it so many times before, it doesn't feel weird anymore when Hongjoong throws him a spare shirt and pajama bottoms. They change in front of each other, because there's nothing to be embarrassed anymore, and Seonghwa isn't sure what to think about the way, how easy and natural it feels, throwing his clothes at one of the chairs by the desk and dipping into Hongjoong's bed.

His back almost hits the wall, because they're both grown teenagers and the bed isn't meant for more than one person, but somehow, they make it work.

The fairy lights above Hongjoong's bed twinkle in Seonghwa's peripheral vision, and the light bounces off Hongjoong's wide eyes in a way that absolutely shouldn't be as cute as it is.

They're laying face to face, the younger's arm thrown over Seonghwa's chest and his cold feet sticking to Seonghwa's calves, and he's surprised to realize, that he doesn't actually mind it.

At least, not as much as he should.

Because Hongjoong's staring at him warmly, a lazy smile lighting up his face again as he murmurs, "go to sleep, Seonghwa."

His voice is hushed, and soft in a way that makes Seonghwa's heart flutter before picking up its pace a bit. Nodding, he notes how his eyelids slowly start to feel heavy, and he burrows his face into the younger's chest with a mumbled, "okay."

Falling asleep seems so much easier when he's in Hongjoong's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> god i..... was in a really uwu mood while writing the last scene?? tho i feel like it's kinda rushed?? but i hope it's still okay
> 
> please please please leave some feedback if u liked this tho!!!! and my tumblr is @ starryhwa if u wanna hmu uwu


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